Adventure>Fear

I love the idea of adventure. It excites me. I've always wanted to sieze every adventure that this life has to offer, whether it be in my backyard or across the world. Now I have the opportunity to go on a real life adventure and I'm scared to death. I'm scared of failing at the responsibilities I've been given. Scared of the difficulties and complexities of traveling to another country. Scared of getting sick or hurt when I'm there. Scared of missing out on something important when I'm there. Scared silly of the unknown.

Adventure [ad-ven-chur]: (n) an exciting or very unusual experience. participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises. a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome. (v) to risk or hazard. to take the chance of; dare.

Risk and uncertainty are part of the adventure. It's part of what make it an experience worth remembering and savoring. It's overcoming those obstacles that's the important element of adventure. If that's the case, the only thing that can kill the adventure is giving into fear. It's inevitable that one will be afraid of the unknown, but the key is doing what needs to be done despite the emotions. One of my favorite quotes is " Always do what you are afraid to do." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Do it anyway. That's the heart of adventure: Overcoming the obstacles and emotion to sieze the opportunity before you.

I'm going to try to remember this as this adventure begins to unfold...this is one opportunity I do not want to miss out on!

f a v o r i t e s.

I'm the type of person that gets really excited about good music, listens to it on repeat for about two weeks, gets tired of it, rediscovers two years later, repeats. At the moment, these are a few of my favorites! Thought I'd share :)


Highest Place-Desperation Band

Redeemer-Nicole C. Mullen

Half of My Heart-John Mayer

Lead Me-Sanctus Real

Satisfy- Tenth Avenue North

Beloved-Tenth Avenue North

All About Us-He is We

Light A Way-He is We

I Wouldn't Mind- He is We

All That You Are- Goo Goo Dolls

Light Up the Sky- The Afters

Long, Hot Summer-Keith Urban

Summer Wind- Frank Sinatra

Around the World-Frank Sinatra

The Follow Through.

Let Your kingdom come on earth. Let Your will be done

Let every kingdom of this earth bow.

Let the sinners sing for joy, we are saved by grace
Let every saint break through these doors and shout

You’re calling out, “who will go?”

I will go. I will live the life. I’ll give it all for Jesus Christ.
I’ll tell the world that You are God.
I will go. Hear my battle cry. Give me wings so I can fly
and tell the world that You are God.


Here am I, here am I, I will give all that is mine.
Here am I, here am I, Jesus come and spend my life. -Desperation Band

 

Today I was listening to this song and I had a flashback to a couple months ago. I remember standing in church, singing this song at the top of my lungs, meaning every word that came out of my mouth. At that point, it seemed like a reasonably easy task...continue to try to live the life that I had been striving for my whole life-a life that glorifies God. It's a constant challenge but I've never felt overwhelmed by it. However, this call to "go" became more real when it became time to choose a missions trip to go on. A strange series of events led me to choose to go to Ecuador for a week-something I always said I was never interested in doing although I had taken Spanish classes for 6 years. Even though it wasn't what I had expected to do, it felt like I had made a good decision. When we began having meetings I realized that all of my bestfriends were all going on another trip to Camp Barnabas which I had gone on two years ago. It began to hit me that I was going to be the odd one out. They were going to have so much fun at that amazing place, making inside jokes and becoming closer together and I would be off trying to speak Spanish in South America. That was really hard. I've always had my friends by my side, serving together and that has brought us closer together. What made it almost worse was that they were returning from their trip the day after I left meaning that I wouldn't see them for almost three weeks!

That team left this morning. Goodbye was hard, I can't lie. I came home from seeing the off and turned on my iPod and this song from Desperation Band came on and I felt God speaking to me through it. Those words that I sang months earlier had come from my heart and now I was living that out. I had said "I will give all that is mine, Jesus come and spend my life". Even though it isn't easy, I know that this is what He has for me and that's exciting. We're all called to follow Jesus no matter the cost. Some people are called to give up their comfort and work in an office where they will be ridiculed for loving God. Some are called to give up their safety and go to a country where they will be killed for being a Christian. In my case at this point in my life, it means giving up my friends for a while and learning to grow with Jesus without them being there with me. It's easy to say the words. The action is the hard part. I was reading in James the other day about how faith without deeds is dead. Now is my time to live what I said I believe. I told God to take all that is mine and to spend my life and now it's time to follow through on that and trust that He knows what He's doing.

I can see now why God chose me to not go on the trip with them. Though sometimes I don't want to admit it, I let my friendships get in the way of completely focusing on Him. Although it's hard right now, I get a peace knowing that God decided that I needed 1o days of completely undistracted time to focus on Him and dive into His word before going to Ecuador. He is preparing my heart to serve in an uncomfortable situation and I know I'm going to depend on Him more than I have in a long time. I love how He desires us. He wants all of us and it's special knowing that He has prepared this time for me to run to Him.  It will be an adventure that's for sure. And a challenge. But I'm excited for what God has in store for everyone in the next few weeks!!



{Dear God, please bless the Camp Barnabas team as they are on their way to Missouri. Keep them safe and bless the relationships that they are building. Give them strength, energy, and patience once they get there. I pray that You will make Yourself so evident to them in the next week and that You will work miracles in their lives and the lives of their campers. Thank you for their hearts and their willingness to serve You. Bless them, Father. In Your Holy Name, Amen}



Making Sense of the Madness




 

At this moment my head is full of jumbled thoughts. As usual. They never seem to slow down and never seem to go away without a new one replacing it. These are the things that are cluttering my thoughts right now...

I'm tired. Do those stinking college apps or you're never going to get in!! I need to see my friends before they leave-I'm really going to miss them. That nap in the sun probably wasn't a good idea, was it now?  Those fireworks last night were so pretty. I hope my cousin is doing ok today.  Is this trip I'm going on in a few weeks really a good idea? What am I going to do with my life? I need to figure out my schedule for next year or I'm going to be stuck in the horrible classes. I need that person to turn in my reference so I can start this internship!!

And so the constant, worried blabbering in my mind continues. It's summer right? The time of year when I should be the most carefree and unstressed! Why do I keep running these thoughts through my mind over and over again?

I was thinking about this last night. It was the picture perfect 4th of July. I was going to a fireworks show with one of my best friends in the world. Driving into the sunset with our hands out the car windows singing our favorite songs, knowing we would meet up with friends and then spend the night watching movies and talking. How could a 17 year old girl ask for anything more? Yet my mind still wandered and went back to the things I had to do and the decisions I would have to make. And worse, I thought about how I wish I could change the situations. Why can't God just show me where to go to college? Why couldn't I have just gone on a trip with all of my other friends?  Why can't I have an easy schedule for senior year? Why couldn't I just be content with where I was at this point in my life? July 4th, 2011 at 11 p.m. watching fireworks with my bestfriends.

I think I had the wrong idea of what content means. I so often view it as meaning that everything in my life is perfect. That I'm happy with my friends, my family, my relationships, me, my school, my future. And with all those perfect aspects of my life, there would be no reason for me to need a God that would help me deal with all the nasty, scary, hard parts of life. I had totally missed the meaning of being content. God gave me Philippians 4:12-13 to help me understand...

{I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.}



So what does it mean to be truly content?....

True contentment is realizing that the imperfections of life that are bound to happen are nothing compared to the God that is facing them with us. True contentment is seeing the beauty of the fact that we cannot face life on our own, but instead have to rely completely on our Savior-we truly have no control. True contentment is realizing that these imperfections in life are what mold us into the people we need to be. True contentment is knowing that in time, God will make all things beautiful again. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

I don't want to keep chasing the idea that someday I will have it all perfect. When I look at the big picture of my life, I'm glad that I have these worries and struggles. I know that God's got it and I will be stronger in the long run and that's good enough for me. :)