Let Your kingdom come on earth. Let Your will be done
Let every kingdom of this earth bow.
Let the sinners sing for joy, we are saved by grace
Let every saint break through these doors and shout
You’re calling out, “who will go?”
I will go. I will live the life. I’ll give it all for Jesus Christ.
I’ll tell the world that You are God.
I will go. Hear my battle cry. Give me wings so I can fly
and tell the world that You are God.
Here am I, here am I, I will give all that is mine.
Here am I, here am I, Jesus come and spend my life. -Desperation Band
Let every saint break through these doors and shout
You’re calling out, “who will go?”
I will go. I will live the life. I’ll give it all for Jesus Christ.
I’ll tell the world that You are God.
I will go. Hear my battle cry. Give me wings so I can fly
and tell the world that You are God.
Here am I, here am I, I will give all that is mine.
Here am I, here am I, Jesus come and spend my life. -Desperation Band
Today I was listening to this song and I had a flashback to a couple months ago. I remember standing in church, singing this song at the top of my lungs, meaning every word that came out of my mouth. At that point, it seemed like a reasonably easy task...continue to try to live the life that I had been striving for my whole life-a life that glorifies God. It's a constant challenge but I've never felt overwhelmed by it. However, this call to "go" became more real when it became time to choose a missions trip to go on. A strange series of events led me to choose to go to Ecuador for a week-something I always said I was never interested in doing although I had taken Spanish classes for 6 years. Even though it wasn't what I had expected to do, it felt like I had made a good decision. When we began having meetings I realized that all of my bestfriends were all going on another trip to Camp Barnabas which I had gone on two years ago. It began to hit me that I was going to be the odd one out. They were going to have so much fun at that amazing place, making inside jokes and becoming closer together and I would be off trying to speak Spanish in South America. That was really hard. I've always had my friends by my side, serving together and that has brought us closer together. What made it almost worse was that they were returning from their trip the day after I left meaning that I wouldn't see them for almost three weeks!
That team left this morning. Goodbye was hard, I can't lie. I came home from seeing the off and turned on my iPod and this song from Desperation Band came on and I felt God speaking to me through it. Those words that I sang months earlier had come from my heart and now I was living that out. I had said "I will give all that is mine, Jesus come and spend my life". Even though it isn't easy, I know that this is what He has for me and that's exciting. We're all called to follow Jesus no matter the cost. Some people are called to give up their comfort and work in an office where they will be ridiculed for loving God. Some are called to give up their safety and go to a country where they will be killed for being a Christian. In my case at this point in my life, it means giving up my friends for a while and learning to grow with Jesus without them being there with me. It's easy to say the words. The action is the hard part. I was reading in James the other day about how faith without deeds is dead. Now is my time to live what I said I believe. I told God to take all that is mine and to spend my life and now it's time to follow through on that and trust that He knows what He's doing.
I can see now why God chose me to not go on the trip with them. Though sometimes I don't want to admit it, I let my friendships get in the way of completely focusing on Him. Although it's hard right now, I get a peace knowing that God decided that I needed 1o days of completely undistracted time to focus on Him and dive into His word before going to Ecuador. He is preparing my heart to serve in an uncomfortable situation and I know I'm going to depend on Him more than I have in a long time. I love how He desires us. He wants all of us and it's special knowing that He has prepared this time for me to run to Him. It will be an adventure that's for sure. And a challenge. But I'm excited for what God has in store for everyone in the next few weeks!!
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| {Dear God, please bless the Camp Barnabas team as they are on their way to Missouri. Keep them safe and bless the relationships that they are building. Give them strength, energy, and patience once they get there. I pray that You will make Yourself so evident to them in the next week and that You will work miracles in their lives and the lives of their campers. Thank you for their hearts and their willingness to serve You. Bless them, Father. In Your Holy Name, Amen} |
