Confessions of a High School Graduate

Well, I’m done. This crazy 4 year journey of high school has finally come to a close. It’s been a fun ride and looking back on the good times as well as the bad times, I can honestly say I’m thankful for all of it. However, there are things that I wish I could have avoided. Things that I wish someone had told me so I didn’t have to learn the hard way.  Though I’m glad I learned them, I’m sure there was a much less painful way to learn the tough lessons. If I could, I would take every single high school girl out to coffee, sit them down, look them straight in the eyes and tell them these lessons I learned. But unfortunately I cannot, so this is my way of sharing what I’ve learned. I am so far from having it all figured out, but these are a few of the countless things that I wish I had known (or listened to!!) over the 4 years of high school.

At the risk of sounding cliché, find yourself. Find out what you enjoy, what you don’t enjoy, what your passions are, and what your strengths and weaknesses are. That seems to be the easiest part. But then comes the catch-EMBRACE THAT. It’s so easy to look at others and think that who they are is so much better than who you are. Girls, do not compare yourself like that! At the Daughter of the King retreat we heard the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy” and it couldn’t be more true. I wasted so much time figuring out what was “wrong” with me and “right” about everyone else. I was fed lie after lie that they were smarter, prettier, faster, BETTER than I was and I believed every single one. And I can tell you from experience that it’s poison for your soul. When those lies begin to have power over you it is deadly. But guess what? They are not true. They aren’t. It doesn’t matter how tall, short, athletic, smart, musically gifted, artsy, or nerdy you are. You are good enough. Not because of something that you’ve done, but because God (btw, the same God who created the beautiful sunrise & flowers & ladybugs) created you to be that way. He designed your heart to be unique from everyone elses and He didn’t do that to give some people an advantage over others. He did it because He has a unique purpose for you to fulfill. There is a reason  for it and you won’t find that if you keep striving to be someone else. I don’t say all this to make you feel good inside (although it does that too), but because it’s truth. As hard as it can be at times, love who God made you to be. It’s a process, something that doesn’t happen overnight, but when you become content & confident in the person that God made you, you feel joy. Joy that cannot be attained by mimicking someone else’s life. Being authentic is a beautiful thing. Don’t cheat yourself out of it. You are good enough.

Question: how do you describe yourself? Artist, athlete, book worm, fashion freak, musician? Those things are all great. It’s important to have things that we enjoy doing. Now, more important questions: What defines you? Where do you find your value? These are tougher to answer. Do your hobbies define you? Are you driven so deeply by success that you can’t live with yourself if you didn’t get a perfect grade on a test or win a game? There is a huge difference between finding happiness in something and finding joy in it….a difference that can have a huge impact on you! We all have talents, but when we let our accomplishments begin to define us, it gets dangerous. I realized in high school that my value is not found in my GPA, my records in track, the number of friends I had or the clothes I wore. I was valuable because Jesus loves me. The things of this world won’t satisfy us. No award or accomplishment will ever bring us the joy that belonging to Jesus will. AND not only does Jesus love us, but He bought us.  Don’t underestimate that fact. He didn’t have to but He did and until we really realize that, we will be chasing something that we’ll never catch. It takes a lot of pressure off of us. When you don’t feel you’re trying to prove yourself, you can relax and actually enjoy whatever you’re doing! Use your talents to glorify God, but let God be the one who defines you.


I can’t give advice about high school without mentioning the boys. I’m not one to hate on HS guys because they are going through their own issues too, so here’s my advice to girls regarding the subject: set your standards… high, and then stick to them. In Christian high school girl land where we all live, most of us have made some sort of list about what characteristics we want in a future husband. GOOD! (If you haven’t, do it.) Make sure the things on your list are legit. (Ex: actively pursuing God, shows the fruits of the Spirit.) (DO NOT PUT: part of One Direction and can work skinny jeans) Pray about it and see if there is anything that you may have missed that God wants you to seek in a future guy. He has it all planned out anyway so ask for His help! Easy enough, right? Then stick to that list. There are lots of charmers in high school that can talk the talk, but rarely walk the walk. If they don’t meet the standards that you set for yourself in any way, don’t waste your time. It (hopefully) wouldn’t last anyway. It doesn’t mean they’re an awful person or you can’t be friends, but realize that they aren’t the type of guy you deserve to be with. You have to stick up for yourself on this one. It’s so much better to wait for the right person than getting involved with the wrong person and then get hurt. If you’re going to date in high school (which I wouldn’t suggest, just because guys still are maturing and going through their own struggles), make sure you’re going to spend your time with a quality guy. They do exist, but it usually takes a while to find them! {Also, don’t just date for fun. That almost always leads to immature guys who have the wrong intentions.} Pray for God to bring the right person into your life at the right time. Hold out for a hero & don’t ever settle for anything less!

Oh! And another thing on the guys. Sure, you may get messed up with some jerks, but you can't blame all your heartbreak on them. You have responsibility of your own actions & emotions. No matter what type of relationship you're in, guard your heart. Be careful with who you let into it, especially with guys. High school relationships are characterized by letting all guards down and being completely vulnerable. Which is great...but in a marriage, not in high school. Remember that God wants your heart first and foremost. Never {EVER} let a guy interfere with that. Even if he loves Jesus and is pursuing Him as well, if he is becoming your main focus instead of the Lord, there's an issue. [This is something that we'll always have to practice! I've heard from married women that it's a struggle to keep God a first priority in their life, even when they have a husband. So get used to keeping your priorities straight now when you're not married.] Also, don't let your mind wander so much. Let's be honest, we've all had crushes where we planned out the love story, wedding, kids names, house design, and the kinds of pets we'd have. It's fun right? Not when that vision is dashed by heartbreak. Try to keep control over your imagination when you're in (or out) of a relationship. It will make things less painful if it ends. Your heart is precious; don't let it get mangled in the early years of your life.   

One of my favorite bible verses is Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” This is probably one of the most valuable & most fun things that I’ve learned in high school…get good girlfriends!! This verse perfectly describes my relationship with so many of my friends. I can’t describe how much the girls in my life have helped me in this journey. Yeah, they’re a blast to be around and we have so much fun together, but they do so much more than just that. Life can get hard and we start to break like this verse says, but I’ve found that it’s really hard to do when you have a bunch of crazy girls giving you truth and encouragement. They don’t overlook the hard parts of life but they remind you that God is in control even in the dark days. God has shown me love and spoken to me countless times through my “sisters”.  You learn from each other and get stronger together. A true friendship is one that glorifies God and brings both people closer to Him. This will bring you guys together too. Find a solid group of girls that truly love God and hold them close. Be vulnerable and let them know your heart. You won’t regret it.

In the same way, learn to take advantage of all the incredible women in your life, especially at church. I wish I had done this earlier. I had no idea how much wisdom these women had!  I’ve learned so much by hearing their stories, where they come from and how God has brought them to where they are now. Take the time to get to know them. It may be uncomfortable at first to strike up a conversation if you don’t know them well but they truly love you and want to get to know you too! Listen to their story, ask questions, see if they have advice for you in this season of life, ask them to pray for you. Take advantage of every opportunity you have with them and learn as much as you can. It’s invaluable to gain wisdom from those who have already experienced what you’re going through now.


High school can be an awesome time of your life. I have so many beautiful memories that I’m sure I will keep as long as I live. However, there are dark days too. Trust me, they will come and sometimes it will seem like things will never get better. But guess what? They do!

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

God promises that although there will be hard times, it is only a season. And that the hard times are never without a reason. I can look back on the darkest times in my life and I’m thankful for them because I can see how much they strengthened me. I would not be who I am today if I had not dealt with it. I’ve learned to depend on God even when I can’t feel Him and it has strengthened my faith so much. God is so faithful, girls, and He will carry you through. When you feel you’re alone, cry out to God because He is there. We don’t always feel it, but truth is truth whether your emotions agree or not. Life is made up of seasons. Though one may be rough, it does not last forever and God will always (ALWAYS) show you how He redeems our experiences even if they are painful. Don't lose hope!

One of our deadly instincts as humans is to hide when we feel broken. We focus on making the outside beautiful when the inside feels dead and hollow, and don’t allow anyone to see past the mask. Do you realize how dangerous it is? We can’t ignore the condition of the heart. God loves it. He doesn’t care about how others perceive you or how you look on the outside nearly as much as he cares about the beautiful soul He put in you. God is a heartist-he takes our mangled, hurting hearts and transforms them into beautiful masterpieces.  He is the Healer. Don’t just ignore the problem and shut down; invite Him into the brokenness and let the healing begin.



[Walking around with Buddy the Elf. Classic.]

Another valuable lesson I wish I'd learned earlier: have a little fun! Yup, high school can be stressful. I could get so overwhelmed with school and sports that sometimes I forgot to enjoy this time. Guess what? It's okay to go get slurpee's after school with the girls. It's not going to kill you to be out late once in a while. You’re not going to get kicked out of high school if you relax a little. Don’t forget about your responsibilities, but little fun things can make life a whole lot sweeter. Dare to dance in the rain a bit.


Simple (yet hugely important) rule: serve others. You will find so much more fulfillment in something you do for someone else than something you do for yourself. Learn to be selfless and watch how God will use you. You will be suprised.


You have four years in high school. As a freshman, it seems as if you’ll never make it to graduation but looking back as a senior it went by like the blink of an eye. Take advantage of it. Every person you come in contact with, every opportunity you’re given, every lesson you can learn, every life you can touch. My freshman year, our high school pastor, Jerry, said something that stuck with me through all my high school years…”When you finish this year, be able to look to God and say ‘I did everything that you put in front of me to do’”. I don’t think that I did everything that God set out for me, because I’m stubborn and I try to make my own plans, but I do know that I did accomplish some. My wish for you is that you accomplish every single one. There are wonderful, exciting plans for you in this journey of high school. Don’t cheat yourself out of them. Be willing to take a leap of faith and go out of your comfort zone to be used by God. Start up a conversation.  You only get one chance at high school so be intentional about it and take advantage of everything. After all, YOLO, right?


Wow, if you read through that whole thing, kudos to you. So those are a few of the many things I learned in the past 4 years. I hope it made you think about something you might do differently. Yes, you will make mistakes but then you will be able to pass down advice to the girls behind you. The wonderful thing about community is that we can learn from each other’s mistakes and also share in each other’s joy. Enjoy this time because it’s here one moment and gone the next. God has wonderful things in store for each one of you in high school and beyond. Follow Him with all your heart and you cannot go wrong. Best of luck <3

With love,

Annie

                   

 

Caught in the Balance

For eighteen years I’ve walked a road,

Where every step and turn was shown

To lead me where I wished to be

But the choice never belonged to me.

When decisions and plans were to be made

They were done by people who knew the way

Of this big world and how it works:

Its highs and lows, its pains and perks.

Now all of a sudden I’m walking alone

Headed right into the Great Unknown.

One choice that will change the path that I take

Would be easier if it were just mine to make.

I realize now that I’m basically stuck

Caught in the balance, praying for luck.

Waiting for news that will change my whole world

Waiting for the future to be unfurled

All of a sudden, things stop all around.

My mind stops racing and the dust settles down.

I finally see that I have no control

That worrying and stressing won’t help reach my goal.

Peace overwhelms me, knowing it’s not my job

To predict the future and make sense of it all

In the big picture, I’m just along for the ride

In this amazing adventure with the Ultimate Guide

This is the time when I need to have faith.

God knows what He’s doing and it’s okay

That my story’s uncertain and not yet complete.

Being caught in the balance is where real life and faith meet.

I'm learning that one of the most freeing feelings is surrender. When you can't do anything but embrace the things that are happening to you. Stop planning. Stop worrying. Stop trying to analyze what might happen. Just breathe. Enjoy. Live.  There is a season for everything and this is my season to embrace uncertainty and enjoy the mysteries of the future. The future is not mine to plan, I'm just along for the ride.