Exactly one month ago I was in
one of the most devastated countries in the world. Although I was only a 2 hour
plan ride away from Miami, Florida, it may as well have been another world.
Haiti.
I went into this experience with expectations-ideas of what it would look like, how people would act, what I would learn & how our team would react. The instant we saw Haiti from the airplane, all of these expectations flew out the window. We knew this would be completely different than we had expected and that no amount of preparation would have prepared us enough. It would not be a physical struggle (although there were the bugs and the hot sun to worry about) but instead, a battle of the heart. Instantly, I felt my heart breaking-a process that would continue the entire trip. The sights we saw were so much different than we had expected. The crumbling airport, the tent villages, the children playing in mounds of garbage and waste. Yes, the earthquake may have shaken the nation of Haiti, but Haiti shook my whole world.
There is truly no way to
explain that week. It’s been a month and I’m still processing everything,
trying to make sense of it all. The people that I met, the things I saw, the
children I held, and the comfort I felt all worked together to break me apart
and I’m still trying to figure out how God wants me to be put back together.
But, I do know that I left a
large piece of my heart with the Haitian people.
I think of our translators,
Leon & WoWo, who worshipped Jesus with everything they had. Leon had shared
one of his favorite songs with us, which reads “Majesty, Majesty, Your grace
has found me just as I am. Empty-handed but alive in your hands.” I learned so
much from watching them praise the Lord with their lives, truly loving Him for
who He is, not just for what He’s done for them.
I think of the people of
Leveque and the many orange haired children that run barefoot among the thorns
on the ground. One girl clung to me one day, her hair orange from
malnourishment. I realized why my arms hurt while holding her-her tailbone had
been sticking out because she had no meat on her bones. One woman asked for us
to pray for her to get a bra so she could go in public or even go to church.
Realities like these left me speechless.
I think of the little girl in
one of the villages who treated me like a princess. After we had waded through
a river, she got down on her knees on the rocky ground to wring the water out
of my long skirt. Later, after sitting on the dusty ground she again brushed me
off until I was sufficiently clean then hugged me and grabbed my hand again.
How wrong is it that the 4 year old girl that doesn’t even have shoes or pants
will wait on me, a girl who has everything? I don’t know if I will ever understand.
I think of the Haitian worship
service. Never in my life have I seen people cry out to the Lord like I did at
the Tuesday night church service. After the music ended, they continued to sing
and worship. They sang, knelt, wept and were completely real before the Lord.
They began to dance, which was the start of the biggest, sweatiest, most joyful
dance party I have ever seen! I can only compare it to King David’s dance in
the Bible. One woman I was dancing with looked at me and communicated “Do you
love Jesus too?” When I replied yes, she gave me a huge hug and we continued to
dance together. It was amazing to see people who, in my mind, have so little to be
thankful for, so joyful because of the salvation God has given them. It was one
of the most beautiful nights of my life.
 |
| Two people were saved after the Gospel was shared here! |
I think of the amazing people
at Mission of Hope who are spending their lives and their passions to show
Christ to every man, woman and child in Haiti. Their dedication and love truly
inspired me and has completely altered my goals in life.
This trip is life changing.
Haiti rocked my entire world and nothing has been the same since. Even as we
arrived back in Detroit, we realized how hard it would be and how much we had
changed. The culture shock of coming back into America is still difficult. Even
shopping for a prom dress was hard and I broke down in a dressing room,
distraught that two weeks earlier I had been holding a starving child and now I
was looking for an expensive dress that I would wear once. It just isn't right. However, if I came back from this trip
only with the goal to not waste water and to be thankful for my education, the
trip was a waste. In order for it to mean something it has to affect your heart
and change you from the inside out.
I’m still asking God what I’m meant to do
with this experience. In reality, as desperate as the Haitian people are for
physical necessities, they are even more in need of Jesus, a hunger that is
just as prevalent here. That is my purpose right now-to bring spiritual relief
to the malnourished and broken people in my life. For now I will love where I’m at in life, taking advantage of the opportunities God has given me, while praying to return to Haiti in the future. God is showing me that
I have a purpose here though I still wake up wishing to be in my mosquito
net, hearing orphans running around outside. That country captivated my heart
and I can’t help but believe that this is only the beginning. I will hold this country in my heart
forever, knowing that God is not done with the nation of Haiti.
{Now that I have seen, I am responsible}
