The Ring

 

Once upon a time, three years ago, on my sixteenth birthday I followed in the footsteps of many Christian girls and got a purity ring. I put much thought into it, making sure it was something that I would wear until I was engaged. After it was in my possession, I would look at it, thinking how special it would be someday when I was able to give it to my husband, showing that I had waited for him all of my life. I had heard story after story of how meaningful and beautiful it was to give a symbol and a gift like that. I dreamed of what that was like, hoping that that romance would one day be my story.

I can still relate to many of these feelings. I’m a sucker for a good love story, and I’m a firm believer that the best ones are real, not in movies. I long to be loved and to eventually be happily married to the man of my dreams. Hardly a day goes by when I don’t think of how/when/where God will put this special person into my life. Throughout all of that, I’ve kept the ring. I look at it and remember that hopefully I will someday give it to the person I’m made to be with. It’s, in a way, a promise that in the end I will end up happily in love. Just a little bit of waiting then happily ever after, right?

The other day I was sitting in church, playing with my ring as usual, running these things through my mind. I looked at it and daydreamed yet again “someday you will give this to the person I love”. But this time something didn’t feel right. Who had promised me that? Who was I to know that this story will for sure end up the way I want it to? I realized how much of a guarantee and an expectation I had put on that simple ring. I realized that nowhere, NOWHERE, did God promise me that I would end up married. I was the one making blind promises to myself, as if I had any control over it anyway. That’s a helpless feeling when it’s something that your heart desires so deeply.  Just then, the pastor of the service said something regarding the Church as the Bride of Christ. I was overwhelmed. I realized that I had been so off-target.

I’ve heard of some girls getting rid of their rings when they realize they were making it too much of a focus. While I see the logic in that, I don’t believe the promise is void, I just think we’ve looked at it the wrong way. Yes, we are guarenteed a beautiful romance but it isn’t necessarily an earthly one. So instead of getting rid of this symbol, I’m giving it a new purpose. I will now wear it as a celebration of love that I am promised and already have instead of a hope of something that I am not guaranteed. I will look at it as a covenant of the romance that I have with my Savior. I will first be faithful to Him and if He ever chooses to bring me into a relationship, it will be a symbol of how I kept myself to be faithful first to the Bride of Christ then as an earthly bride. A man who truly loves Jesus will want me to follow Christ over himself anyway.  The truth is that no one can love me like Jesus can and I don’t even have to wait for that love. It is right now, a promise that I was born into, enjoy every day and will dwell in for the rest of my life. What love story can compare to that?

Summer Lovin'

"Little children, let us not

love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth"

1 John three:eighteen

Confessions of a High School Graduate

Well, I’m done. This crazy 4 year journey of high school has finally come to a close. It’s been a fun ride and looking back on the good times as well as the bad times, I can honestly say I’m thankful for all of it. However, there are things that I wish I could have avoided. Things that I wish someone had told me so I didn’t have to learn the hard way.  Though I’m glad I learned them, I’m sure there was a much less painful way to learn the tough lessons. If I could, I would take every single high school girl out to coffee, sit them down, look them straight in the eyes and tell them these lessons I learned. But unfortunately I cannot, so this is my way of sharing what I’ve learned. I am so far from having it all figured out, but these are a few of the countless things that I wish I had known (or listened to!!) over the 4 years of high school.

At the risk of sounding cliché, find yourself. Find out what you enjoy, what you don’t enjoy, what your passions are, and what your strengths and weaknesses are. That seems to be the easiest part. But then comes the catch-EMBRACE THAT. It’s so easy to look at others and think that who they are is so much better than who you are. Girls, do not compare yourself like that! At the Daughter of the King retreat we heard the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy” and it couldn’t be more true. I wasted so much time figuring out what was “wrong” with me and “right” about everyone else. I was fed lie after lie that they were smarter, prettier, faster, BETTER than I was and I believed every single one. And I can tell you from experience that it’s poison for your soul. When those lies begin to have power over you it is deadly. But guess what? They are not true. They aren’t. It doesn’t matter how tall, short, athletic, smart, musically gifted, artsy, or nerdy you are. You are good enough. Not because of something that you’ve done, but because God (btw, the same God who created the beautiful sunrise & flowers & ladybugs) created you to be that way. He designed your heart to be unique from everyone elses and He didn’t do that to give some people an advantage over others. He did it because He has a unique purpose for you to fulfill. There is a reason  for it and you won’t find that if you keep striving to be someone else. I don’t say all this to make you feel good inside (although it does that too), but because it’s truth. As hard as it can be at times, love who God made you to be. It’s a process, something that doesn’t happen overnight, but when you become content & confident in the person that God made you, you feel joy. Joy that cannot be attained by mimicking someone else’s life. Being authentic is a beautiful thing. Don’t cheat yourself out of it. You are good enough.

Question: how do you describe yourself? Artist, athlete, book worm, fashion freak, musician? Those things are all great. It’s important to have things that we enjoy doing. Now, more important questions: What defines you? Where do you find your value? These are tougher to answer. Do your hobbies define you? Are you driven so deeply by success that you can’t live with yourself if you didn’t get a perfect grade on a test or win a game? There is a huge difference between finding happiness in something and finding joy in it….a difference that can have a huge impact on you! We all have talents, but when we let our accomplishments begin to define us, it gets dangerous. I realized in high school that my value is not found in my GPA, my records in track, the number of friends I had or the clothes I wore. I was valuable because Jesus loves me. The things of this world won’t satisfy us. No award or accomplishment will ever bring us the joy that belonging to Jesus will. AND not only does Jesus love us, but He bought us.  Don’t underestimate that fact. He didn’t have to but He did and until we really realize that, we will be chasing something that we’ll never catch. It takes a lot of pressure off of us. When you don’t feel you’re trying to prove yourself, you can relax and actually enjoy whatever you’re doing! Use your talents to glorify God, but let God be the one who defines you.


I can’t give advice about high school without mentioning the boys. I’m not one to hate on HS guys because they are going through their own issues too, so here’s my advice to girls regarding the subject: set your standards… high, and then stick to them. In Christian high school girl land where we all live, most of us have made some sort of list about what characteristics we want in a future husband. GOOD! (If you haven’t, do it.) Make sure the things on your list are legit. (Ex: actively pursuing God, shows the fruits of the Spirit.) (DO NOT PUT: part of One Direction and can work skinny jeans) Pray about it and see if there is anything that you may have missed that God wants you to seek in a future guy. He has it all planned out anyway so ask for His help! Easy enough, right? Then stick to that list. There are lots of charmers in high school that can talk the talk, but rarely walk the walk. If they don’t meet the standards that you set for yourself in any way, don’t waste your time. It (hopefully) wouldn’t last anyway. It doesn’t mean they’re an awful person or you can’t be friends, but realize that they aren’t the type of guy you deserve to be with. You have to stick up for yourself on this one. It’s so much better to wait for the right person than getting involved with the wrong person and then get hurt. If you’re going to date in high school (which I wouldn’t suggest, just because guys still are maturing and going through their own struggles), make sure you’re going to spend your time with a quality guy. They do exist, but it usually takes a while to find them! {Also, don’t just date for fun. That almost always leads to immature guys who have the wrong intentions.} Pray for God to bring the right person into your life at the right time. Hold out for a hero & don’t ever settle for anything less!

Oh! And another thing on the guys. Sure, you may get messed up with some jerks, but you can't blame all your heartbreak on them. You have responsibility of your own actions & emotions. No matter what type of relationship you're in, guard your heart. Be careful with who you let into it, especially with guys. High school relationships are characterized by letting all guards down and being completely vulnerable. Which is great...but in a marriage, not in high school. Remember that God wants your heart first and foremost. Never {EVER} let a guy interfere with that. Even if he loves Jesus and is pursuing Him as well, if he is becoming your main focus instead of the Lord, there's an issue. [This is something that we'll always have to practice! I've heard from married women that it's a struggle to keep God a first priority in their life, even when they have a husband. So get used to keeping your priorities straight now when you're not married.] Also, don't let your mind wander so much. Let's be honest, we've all had crushes where we planned out the love story, wedding, kids names, house design, and the kinds of pets we'd have. It's fun right? Not when that vision is dashed by heartbreak. Try to keep control over your imagination when you're in (or out) of a relationship. It will make things less painful if it ends. Your heart is precious; don't let it get mangled in the early years of your life.   

One of my favorite bible verses is Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” This is probably one of the most valuable & most fun things that I’ve learned in high school…get good girlfriends!! This verse perfectly describes my relationship with so many of my friends. I can’t describe how much the girls in my life have helped me in this journey. Yeah, they’re a blast to be around and we have so much fun together, but they do so much more than just that. Life can get hard and we start to break like this verse says, but I’ve found that it’s really hard to do when you have a bunch of crazy girls giving you truth and encouragement. They don’t overlook the hard parts of life but they remind you that God is in control even in the dark days. God has shown me love and spoken to me countless times through my “sisters”.  You learn from each other and get stronger together. A true friendship is one that glorifies God and brings both people closer to Him. This will bring you guys together too. Find a solid group of girls that truly love God and hold them close. Be vulnerable and let them know your heart. You won’t regret it.

In the same way, learn to take advantage of all the incredible women in your life, especially at church. I wish I had done this earlier. I had no idea how much wisdom these women had!  I’ve learned so much by hearing their stories, where they come from and how God has brought them to where they are now. Take the time to get to know them. It may be uncomfortable at first to strike up a conversation if you don’t know them well but they truly love you and want to get to know you too! Listen to their story, ask questions, see if they have advice for you in this season of life, ask them to pray for you. Take advantage of every opportunity you have with them and learn as much as you can. It’s invaluable to gain wisdom from those who have already experienced what you’re going through now.


High school can be an awesome time of your life. I have so many beautiful memories that I’m sure I will keep as long as I live. However, there are dark days too. Trust me, they will come and sometimes it will seem like things will never get better. But guess what? They do!

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

God promises that although there will be hard times, it is only a season. And that the hard times are never without a reason. I can look back on the darkest times in my life and I’m thankful for them because I can see how much they strengthened me. I would not be who I am today if I had not dealt with it. I’ve learned to depend on God even when I can’t feel Him and it has strengthened my faith so much. God is so faithful, girls, and He will carry you through. When you feel you’re alone, cry out to God because He is there. We don’t always feel it, but truth is truth whether your emotions agree or not. Life is made up of seasons. Though one may be rough, it does not last forever and God will always (ALWAYS) show you how He redeems our experiences even if they are painful. Don't lose hope!

One of our deadly instincts as humans is to hide when we feel broken. We focus on making the outside beautiful when the inside feels dead and hollow, and don’t allow anyone to see past the mask. Do you realize how dangerous it is? We can’t ignore the condition of the heart. God loves it. He doesn’t care about how others perceive you or how you look on the outside nearly as much as he cares about the beautiful soul He put in you. God is a heartist-he takes our mangled, hurting hearts and transforms them into beautiful masterpieces.  He is the Healer. Don’t just ignore the problem and shut down; invite Him into the brokenness and let the healing begin.



[Walking around with Buddy the Elf. Classic.]

Another valuable lesson I wish I'd learned earlier: have a little fun! Yup, high school can be stressful. I could get so overwhelmed with school and sports that sometimes I forgot to enjoy this time. Guess what? It's okay to go get slurpee's after school with the girls. It's not going to kill you to be out late once in a while. You’re not going to get kicked out of high school if you relax a little. Don’t forget about your responsibilities, but little fun things can make life a whole lot sweeter. Dare to dance in the rain a bit.


Simple (yet hugely important) rule: serve others. You will find so much more fulfillment in something you do for someone else than something you do for yourself. Learn to be selfless and watch how God will use you. You will be suprised.


You have four years in high school. As a freshman, it seems as if you’ll never make it to graduation but looking back as a senior it went by like the blink of an eye. Take advantage of it. Every person you come in contact with, every opportunity you’re given, every lesson you can learn, every life you can touch. My freshman year, our high school pastor, Jerry, said something that stuck with me through all my high school years…”When you finish this year, be able to look to God and say ‘I did everything that you put in front of me to do’”. I don’t think that I did everything that God set out for me, because I’m stubborn and I try to make my own plans, but I do know that I did accomplish some. My wish for you is that you accomplish every single one. There are wonderful, exciting plans for you in this journey of high school. Don’t cheat yourself out of them. Be willing to take a leap of faith and go out of your comfort zone to be used by God. Start up a conversation.  You only get one chance at high school so be intentional about it and take advantage of everything. After all, YOLO, right?


Wow, if you read through that whole thing, kudos to you. So those are a few of the many things I learned in the past 4 years. I hope it made you think about something you might do differently. Yes, you will make mistakes but then you will be able to pass down advice to the girls behind you. The wonderful thing about community is that we can learn from each other’s mistakes and also share in each other’s joy. Enjoy this time because it’s here one moment and gone the next. God has wonderful things in store for each one of you in high school and beyond. Follow Him with all your heart and you cannot go wrong. Best of luck <3

With love,

Annie

                   

 

The Princess Diaries

 Girls, do you remember the good old days when we were absolutely captivated by fairytales? The brave knight rescuing helpless maidens, Prince Charming searching the whole kingdom to find Cinderella, Prince Phillip fighting fire-breathing dragons just to be with his princess, all of it sparks something in a little girl’s heart. Whether you were decked out in pink your whole childhood or preferred to play in the mud with the boys, I think all of us can relate to dreaming about these stories at least a little bit. I remember dancing around the living room as a kid with my plastic tiara wishing for the day I’d live in a castle with my own personal Prince Charming. As girls we want the brave knight to sweep us off our feet, rescue us from the danger around us and ride off into the sunset. We want to be seen as beautiful and cherished. We want to be worth fighting for. We’ve all wanted it...it’s how we were made.

But it seems as we’ve gotten older, that dream has been lost. We watch the movies that used to enchant us and get that twinge of sadness in the back of your mind that says “I used to think life could actually be like that.” Yes, we’ve realized that we won’t all live in castles and wear ball gowns all the time, but it’s something more. We’ve lost the expectation that we can ever be seen as a princess, valued and beautiful and important. Our minds have been so warped by society that we can’t imagine being seen as that. Well, we may not be able to change society, but we are able to change the way we think and act. So take a lesson from the princesses on how to find a fairytale love in today’s world.

Did Cinderella ever go stalking Prince Charming? Do you think Belle followed the Beast wherever he went? Did Repunzel constantly texted her prince from the tower, "Whatcha doing?” “When are you going to come visit me?” “Are you in battle or something, why aren’t you answering me?”, “Hello?!” I don’t think so. That’s one thing that girls today have totally missed. It isn’t the girl’s job to pursue the guy. That’s not how good relationships work. It’s okay to be interested but don’t overlook the signs. The best indicators of if a guy is interested is if he talks to you! Not only will you annoy him if you constantly bombard him with questions, texts or tweets, but you will deprive him of one of his roles as a guy: to pursue the girl he’s interested in. They’re wired to chase after what they want. Be friendly, be yourself, but don’t be clingy. You will never know how it feels to be pursued if you’re constantly taking the job of the chaser. Wait for the right guy to come along that will care enough to work for your attention & your heart.

It seems to me that all of the princesses in the fairytales I

heard weren’t easy like some of today’s chicks. They didn’t throw kisses around like they were nothing, they were modest {minus Jasmine} and they seem like all around good girls. Yes, it’s silly because the movies were made for little kids but don’t you think there’s some truth in the fact that they were valued because they respected themselves? So many times I hear girls talking about how they want the fairytale love they dreamed of when they were little but “that just doesn’t exist anymore”. Then they continue to explain how their one night stand on Saturday didn’t go so well but it’s alright because they have a date lined up already for next week. REALLY? Is that how we go about looking for a quality relationship? Is that how you find a modern day fairytale? It’s so sad that some girls have just given up hope so easily. In order to find people {and a guy} that will respect you, you have to respect yourself. If you want to have someone interested in your heart, don’t show them your chest. If you want to have someone that just enjoys spending time with you, don’t let the relationship get physical. You attract people based on how you act. If you’re willing to let people use you for your body, you will find people that are willing to use it. You will never find a Prince Charming by putting yourself up for sale like that. However, if you’ll keep your standards high and wait for someone who will value and treasure YOU {your heart & dreams & ambitions} then you will find that person. Don’t be discouraged if they don’t come right away. Princes are rare but worth waiting for.

Don’t cheapen yourself. If you have the mentality that its just a kiss, you will give it away to anyone that asks and it won’t be as magical when you give it to your “prince”. You don’t get fairytale loves by devaluing all the things that make a relationship special. You don’t get magical moments by giving those away to anyone who asks for it. Value those things. Keep them. One day they will be worth so much more.

Lastly, don’t think you have to have a “prince” in order to be a princess. Don’t believe the lie that you aren’t important until someone {a guy} says you’re important…because it’s NOT TRUE! You are significant even without a significant other. Don’t find your value in what another person thinks of you. Be proud of who you are and don’t sit on the side lines waiting for someone to come whisk you off your feet. You will never know what you are missing out on and the amazing things that you are capable of. Take this time in life to find out what you’re good at and run with it. The right guy will come into your life at the right time and there’s nothing you can do to speed it up! So enjoy today and make the most of it.

Now I realize that this isn’t a fast formula to find love worthy of a fairytale. It takes self control and patience, but it pays off in the end. All this to say, don’t settle for an average love story. Though the world may tell you that it isn’t worth waiting for the real deal, it is. While it’s true that love isn’t always easy, it is always worth it. Don’t lose hope that you will find someone who will protect and cherish you like Prince Charming did to Cinderella. You deserve to be loved. Respect yourself and don't let others take advantage of you. Fairytales are not dead yet, girls. Keep your standards high and become someone worthy of a modern day prince and you will find yourself in the middle of a beautiful love story.

{Important side note: as great as fairytales are, most of this is stated even more clearly in my favorite story…the Bible. Check out Proverbs 31, & 1 Corinthians 13 to see what God says about love & happily ever afters. He wrote love storiesthat put fairytales to shame}

Good Friday Thoughts

In Christ alone my hope is found

 He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sins curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand.

___________

This song gives me chills. Not because of the music or the way the words are arranged but because of the amazing TRUTH that it states. It's easy to forget how incredible this story is. We so often brush it off as another holiday and a time to go to church but when you really think about Easter and the story behind it, you can't help but stand in awe. It is a day to celebrate the greatest act of love in history. Christ overcame death itself in order to save the souls of the very people that killed him. That is the epitome of love.

{There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:13}

____________

"No guilt in life, no fear in death. This is the power of Christ in me. From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny."

I love resting in that promise-that the God who created life then defeated death commands my destiny. It is a truth that revolutionizes the way that you think and live your life. No matter what happens in life, this all-powerful God is still in control, protecting and loving you through it all. (Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalms 23:4) That is an incredible promise.

____________

I hope that you realize this Good Friday how deeply you are loved. 

Sincerely, Annie

Here in the power of Christ I stand.