{pin}spired

Sometimes I find things on Pintrest that make me think. These are a few of these things...

make it count.

**note to self: Don't settle-keep dreaming**

Keep the right perspective. He makes ALL things work together for our good.

Don't be afraid of change. It's a new chapter.

Shaken

Exactly one month ago I was in one of the most devastated countries in the world. Although I was only a 2 hour plan ride away from Miami, Florida, it may as well have been another world. 

 Haiti.

I went into this experience with expectations-ideas of what it would look like, how people would act, what I would learn & how our team would react. The instant we saw Haiti from the airplane, all of these expectations flew out the window. We knew this would be completely different than we had expected and that no amount of preparation would have prepared us enough. It would not be a physical struggle (although there were the bugs and the hot sun to worry about) but instead, a battle of the heart. Instantly, I felt my heart breaking-a process that would continue the entire trip. The sights we saw were so much different than we had expected. The crumbling airport, the tent villages, the children playing in mounds of garbage and waste. Yes, the earthquake may have shaken the nation of Haiti, but Haiti shook my whole world.

There is truly no way to explain that week. It’s been a month and I’m still processing everything, trying to make sense of it all. The people that I met, the things I saw, the children I held, and the comfort I felt all worked together to break me apart and I’m still trying to figure out how God wants me to be put back together. But, I do know that I left a large piece of my heart with the Haitian people.

I think of our translators, Leon & WoWo, who worshipped Jesus with everything they had. Leon had shared one of his favorite songs with us, which reads “Majesty, Majesty, Your grace has found me just as I am. Empty-handed but alive in your hands.” I learned so much from watching them praise the Lord with their lives, truly loving Him for who He is, not just for what He’s done for them.

I think of beautiful Lineda, the girl with no parents who adopted us as her sisters. Her dreams to be a doctor will likely never come true because she doesn’t have money to go to high school. Yet, her love was able to heal my heart in so many ways. She will forever be in my heart as my Haitian-American sister, and I will keep my promise to tell others about children like her.

I think of the people of Leveque and the many orange haired children that run barefoot among the thorns on the ground. One girl clung to me one day, her hair orange from malnourishment. I realized why my arms hurt while holding her-her tailbone had been sticking out because she had no meat on her bones. One woman asked for us to pray for her to get a bra so she could go in public or even go to church. Realities like these left me speechless.

I think of the little girl in one of the villages who treated me like a princess. After we had waded through a river, she got down on her knees on the rocky ground to wring the water out of my long skirt. Later, after sitting on the dusty ground she again brushed me off until I was sufficiently clean then hugged me and grabbed my hand again. How wrong is it that the 4 year old girl that doesn’t even have shoes or pants will wait on me, a girl who has everything? I don’t know if I will ever understand.

I think of the Haitian worship service. Never in my life have I seen people cry out to the Lord like I did at the Tuesday night church service. After the music ended, they continued to sing and worship. They sang, knelt, wept and were completely real before the Lord. They began to dance, which was the start of the biggest, sweatiest, most joyful dance party I have ever seen! I can only compare it to King David’s dance in the Bible. One woman I was dancing with looked at me and communicated “Do you love Jesus too?” When I replied yes, she gave me a huge hug and we continued to dance together. It was amazing to see people who, in my mind, have so little to be thankful for, so joyful because of the salvation God has given them. It was one of the most beautiful nights of my life.

Two people were saved after the Gospel was shared here!

I think of the amazing people at Mission of Hope who are spending their lives and their passions to show Christ to every man, woman and child in Haiti. Their dedication and love truly inspired me and has completely altered my goals in life.

This trip is life changing. Haiti rocked my entire world and nothing has been the same since. Even as we arrived back in Detroit, we realized how hard it would be and how much we had changed. The culture shock of coming back into America is still difficult. Even shopping for a prom dress was hard and I broke down in a dressing room, distraught that two weeks earlier I had been holding a starving child and now I was looking for an expensive dress that I would wear once. It just isn't right. However, if I came back from this trip only with the goal to not waste water and to be thankful for my education, the trip was a waste. In order for it to mean something it has to affect your heart and change you from the inside out.

I’m still asking God what I’m meant to do with this experience. In reality, as desperate as the Haitian people are for physical necessities, they are even more in need of Jesus, a hunger that is just as prevalent here. That is my purpose right now-to bring spiritual relief to the malnourished and broken people in my life.  For now I will love where I’m at in life, taking advantage of the opportunities God has given me, while praying to return to Haiti in the future. God is showing me that I have a purpose here though I still wake up wishing to be in my mosquito net, hearing orphans running around outside. That country captivated my heart and I can’t help but believe that this is only the beginning.  I will hold this country in my heart forever, knowing that God is not done with the nation of Haiti.

{Now that I have seen, I am responsible}

The Princess Diaries

 Girls, do you remember the good old days when we were absolutely captivated by fairytales? The brave knight rescuing helpless maidens, Prince Charming searching the whole kingdom to find Cinderella, Prince Phillip fighting fire-breathing dragons just to be with his princess, all of it sparks something in a little girl’s heart. Whether you were decked out in pink your whole childhood or preferred to play in the mud with the boys, I think all of us can relate to dreaming about these stories at least a little bit. I remember dancing around the living room as a kid with my plastic tiara wishing for the day I’d live in a castle with my own personal Prince Charming. As girls we want the brave knight to sweep us off our feet, rescue us from the danger around us and ride off into the sunset. We want to be seen as beautiful and cherished. We want to be worth fighting for. We’ve all wanted it...it’s how we were made.

But it seems as we’ve gotten older, that dream has been lost. We watch the movies that used to enchant us and get that twinge of sadness in the back of your mind that says “I used to think life could actually be like that.” Yes, we’ve realized that we won’t all live in castles and wear ball gowns all the time, but it’s something more. We’ve lost the expectation that we can ever be seen as a princess, valued and beautiful and important. Our minds have been so warped by society that we can’t imagine being seen as that. Well, we may not be able to change society, but we are able to change the way we think and act. So take a lesson from the princesses on how to find a fairytale love in today’s world.

Did Cinderella ever go stalking Prince Charming? Do you think Belle followed the Beast wherever he went? Did Repunzel constantly texted her prince from the tower, "Whatcha doing?” “When are you going to come visit me?” “Are you in battle or something, why aren’t you answering me?”, “Hello?!” I don’t think so. That’s one thing that girls today have totally missed. It isn’t the girl’s job to pursue the guy. That’s not how good relationships work. It’s okay to be interested but don’t overlook the signs. The best indicators of if a guy is interested is if he talks to you! Not only will you annoy him if you constantly bombard him with questions, texts or tweets, but you will deprive him of one of his roles as a guy: to pursue the girl he’s interested in. They’re wired to chase after what they want. Be friendly, be yourself, but don’t be clingy. You will never know how it feels to be pursued if you’re constantly taking the job of the chaser. Wait for the right guy to come along that will care enough to work for your attention & your heart.

It seems to me that all of the princesses in the fairytales I

heard weren’t easy like some of today’s chicks. They didn’t throw kisses around like they were nothing, they were modest {minus Jasmine} and they seem like all around good girls. Yes, it’s silly because the movies were made for little kids but don’t you think there’s some truth in the fact that they were valued because they respected themselves? So many times I hear girls talking about how they want the fairytale love they dreamed of when they were little but “that just doesn’t exist anymore”. Then they continue to explain how their one night stand on Saturday didn’t go so well but it’s alright because they have a date lined up already for next week. REALLY? Is that how we go about looking for a quality relationship? Is that how you find a modern day fairytale? It’s so sad that some girls have just given up hope so easily. In order to find people {and a guy} that will respect you, you have to respect yourself. If you want to have someone interested in your heart, don’t show them your chest. If you want to have someone that just enjoys spending time with you, don’t let the relationship get physical. You attract people based on how you act. If you’re willing to let people use you for your body, you will find people that are willing to use it. You will never find a Prince Charming by putting yourself up for sale like that. However, if you’ll keep your standards high and wait for someone who will value and treasure YOU {your heart & dreams & ambitions} then you will find that person. Don’t be discouraged if they don’t come right away. Princes are rare but worth waiting for.

Don’t cheapen yourself. If you have the mentality that its just a kiss, you will give it away to anyone that asks and it won’t be as magical when you give it to your “prince”. You don’t get fairytale loves by devaluing all the things that make a relationship special. You don’t get magical moments by giving those away to anyone who asks for it. Value those things. Keep them. One day they will be worth so much more.

Lastly, don’t think you have to have a “prince” in order to be a princess. Don’t believe the lie that you aren’t important until someone {a guy} says you’re important…because it’s NOT TRUE! You are significant even without a significant other. Don’t find your value in what another person thinks of you. Be proud of who you are and don’t sit on the side lines waiting for someone to come whisk you off your feet. You will never know what you are missing out on and the amazing things that you are capable of. Take this time in life to find out what you’re good at and run with it. The right guy will come into your life at the right time and there’s nothing you can do to speed it up! So enjoy today and make the most of it.

Now I realize that this isn’t a fast formula to find love worthy of a fairytale. It takes self control and patience, but it pays off in the end. All this to say, don’t settle for an average love story. Though the world may tell you that it isn’t worth waiting for the real deal, it is. While it’s true that love isn’t always easy, it is always worth it. Don’t lose hope that you will find someone who will protect and cherish you like Prince Charming did to Cinderella. You deserve to be loved. Respect yourself and don't let others take advantage of you. Fairytales are not dead yet, girls. Keep your standards high and become someone worthy of a modern day prince and you will find yourself in the middle of a beautiful love story.

{Important side note: as great as fairytales are, most of this is stated even more clearly in my favorite story…the Bible. Check out Proverbs 31, & 1 Corinthians 13 to see what God says about love & happily ever afters. He wrote love storiesthat put fairytales to shame}

Caught in the Balance

For eighteen years I’ve walked a road,

Where every step and turn was shown

To lead me where I wished to be

But the choice never belonged to me.

When decisions and plans were to be made

They were done by people who knew the way

Of this big world and how it works:

Its highs and lows, its pains and perks.

Now all of a sudden I’m walking alone

Headed right into the Great Unknown.

One choice that will change the path that I take

Would be easier if it were just mine to make.

I realize now that I’m basically stuck

Caught in the balance, praying for luck.

Waiting for news that will change my whole world

Waiting for the future to be unfurled

All of a sudden, things stop all around.

My mind stops racing and the dust settles down.

I finally see that I have no control

That worrying and stressing won’t help reach my goal.

Peace overwhelms me, knowing it’s not my job

To predict the future and make sense of it all

In the big picture, I’m just along for the ride

In this amazing adventure with the Ultimate Guide

This is the time when I need to have faith.

God knows what He’s doing and it’s okay

That my story’s uncertain and not yet complete.

Being caught in the balance is where real life and faith meet.

I'm learning that one of the most freeing feelings is surrender. When you can't do anything but embrace the things that are happening to you. Stop planning. Stop worrying. Stop trying to analyze what might happen. Just breathe. Enjoy. Live.  There is a season for everything and this is my season to embrace uncertainty and enjoy the mysteries of the future. The future is not mine to plan, I'm just along for the ride.

Defining Me.

You are not defined by a number.

You are not defined by the people you spend time with.

You are not defined by how loud your laugh is, how expensive your clothes are or your relationship status.

You are not defined by the way you walk, your eye color, or if you have one arm or two.

Your value is not found in the number of 0’s in your banking account or the value of your house.

Instead, you are defined by the One that created you.

Your value is found in the fact that YOUR name is engraved into the hands that created the universe.

Your value is shown in the fact that the Savior says that you are worth dying for.

You are defined by God saying that you have been made a new creation.

-----------------------

You are not only worth the price, but you are already paid for.

You are not only loveable, but deeply loved.

You are not only beautiful, but designed to be so.

You are not simply liked, but delighted in.

You are new.

You are redeemed.

You are His.

Let the Perfect One define you.

Isaiah 30:21

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

...listening for this voice.

Ecuador.

...How do you try to explain an overseas adventure to someone? I've been trying to answer this questions for several weeks now. People ask me how my trip was, how the food was, what the bathrooms were like (by the way, never ask someone that..it's wierd) and lots of other types of questions and I'm still at a loss as to answer them. They say "tell me" and I have no idea where to begin. I cannot ever hope to be able to fully put those ten days in Ecuador into words but I can try to explain bits & pieces of the things that really impacted me.

CHURCH-We were blessed to have the opportunity to come alongside many ministries in Ecuador. We attended a church in Pifo on Sunday and then did work projects and ran a Vacation Bible School during the week. On Sunday I was fascinated by the church service. The church building was very simple-just a big room with a stage-and so different than my own church. Yet I've never seen people worship like the Ecuadorians. Their songs to Jesus were so pure and honest. They were truly in love with their Savior. This only became more evident to us throughout the week as we continued working with these same people. They were so dedicated to the church and the people in it. The church was not only a staple in the community, but it was a family to the people in it. They came together to help each other and you could see the close bond between everyone. It reminded me so much of the church in Acts...everyone sharing what they had and being a community. We also got the chance to do our VBS program in two other more rural locations. One was in a community center in a farming village in the mountains. The other was held in a side of a house in a very very poor area. This one shocked me the most. There was a tin roof, dirt floors and half the wall was constructed of plastic bags, just to keep the rain out. We somehow fit about 50 kids in and ran our VBS program! We held games in a horse pasture and crafts were in the yard, right next to the pigs. I absolutely fell in love with it. Later that night, the missionary we were working with made a comment that that "church" was more like the church of the world than my church was. I forgot that most Christians don't get the opportunity to worship in a nice building with a cafe and bookstore like me. Many times it's in a setting like we had experienced there.  Their church is truly about PEOPLE, not the silly things we tend to dwell on like sound systems and carmel lattes. Those things aren't bad as long as we don't loose sight of what is important. They are all about doing life together and pushing each other towards Christ. Theirs is the kind of church that God wants...one that loves people and loves Him. It was so inspiring to see people like that!

CULTURE-I'm in love. I've always known that cultures have interested me and I knew I would enjoy it but I didn't realize how much. I adored being able to get a taste of what it's like to live there. To speak Spanish everyday. To see women with bushels of wheat on their backs. To see street performers in Quito. To eat their food (guinea pig isn't as bad as it sounds).To hear their beautiful music. Every new discovery was exciting! On our last day we went to the Mitad del Mundo (Equator) and there was a shopping plaza there where we got to go souvineer shopping. At one point I stepped outside of the shop I was in with my friends and just watched. There was a group playing Ecuadorian music in the center of the plaza and people were walking around. They wore different clothes, spoke Spanish, many probably living in brick houses. It was so different than my life. I loved it and drank it in for as long as I could. Something in me draws me to different cultures. Each one is so unique and beautiful. The Ecuadorian culture was no exception and I loved it!

PEOPLE-I can honestly say I've never been so touched as I was by the hearts of the Ecuadorian people. They were the most loving, accepting, and greatful people I've ever met. When we first came into their church they were constantly coming up to us and shaking our hands, kissing our cheeks, or trying to use broken English to welcome us and show their gratitude for us being there. They put up with our Spanish the entire week and would help us without teasing (that we saw, at least!) The first VBS we did was at the house of a lady named Sonia. She had began a program every week for people in the community. After the VBS, she invited us back to her home for dinner....not an easy thing to do for 22 people. But she and her husband were sooo hospitable to us! The children were so loving. Many times, I had little girls run up to me and just climb in my lap or grab my hand.We would talk like old friends until they had to go home, but not before they would kiss my cheeks and give me a big hug. One time a little girl had climbed up into my arms and we were having a nice little chat and I asked what her favorite part of VBS was. She said (in Spanish) that her favorite part was being there with me. I thought I was going to melt. One day while we were painting outside, two little boys came and talked with me as I worked. We talked about my life in the U.S. and our families and what they wanted to be when they grew up. They just sat and chatted with me for a while then they wanted to help me! We had so much fun working together and talking. Although it was so simple, that was one of my favorite memories from the whole trip. The hardest part of the week was saying goodbye to those sweet people. After our last day of work in the church in Pifo we went to their sanctuary and the pastor began to speak. He told us how we were now a part of their family and their doors would always be open to us. They gave each of us a beautiful leather clock with the name of our church and their church-a gift that we knew they couldn't afford. They presented us with a plaque with a Spanish bible verse to bring back to our church. In reality, we hadn't done anything amazing. Sure, we took down a few walls and painted a kitchen and some other things but it wasn't anything lifechanging. Yet, they were sooo greatful towards us. We were all moved to tears by their kind hearts. They thanked all of us so many times!  Although we thought we had said goodbye, that night a group of ten people from the church suprised us by coming to our apartment (an hour away) to play us some traditional Ecuadorian music as a thank you. We had soooo much fun listening to the beautiful music. We sang Amazing Grace in two different languages. It was so perfect. Again, we were so moved that they spent the time to come and play for us. We felt like we had a new family in them and it was hard to say goodbye. Their loving hearts towards us and God had such a huge impact on me that week!

CHALLENGES-I was totally out of my comfort zone in Ecuador. None of my close friends were going on that trip and it was my first missions trip without my best friend. Not only that, but they were just coming back from their trip when I was leaving so I barely got to talk to them the week before I left. So I was way out of my element. I had also been put in charge of doing music before we left and I was so nervous. It continually pushed me out of my comfort zone because I hate being in front of people!! The first day we were there I was told we were going to sing in front of 300-400 people in church the next day. Scaredoutofmymind. Although I was constantly being challenged with that, I can see now how it was a good thing. God revealed Himself to me so much. I no longer had a friend to text or even to talk to when I was upset or had something to say... now I had to pray about it and tell my Best Friend. I felt very lonely sometimes but I began to realize how I wasn't alone at all..He wanted me to tell Him EVERYTHING. I also had the opportunity to praise God using some....talents? I would never be the one to volunteer myself to do music but somehow it worked out I was the only one who could play acoustic guitar. It was cool to see how God used my very small musical abilites to get what He needed done. One moment sticks out in my mind...as we were singing in church that first Sunday I had a surreal moment. It hit me what I was doing. Playing guitar in front of a large crowd in another country, leading my group in singing a worship song to God. The words hit me differently that time I sang it "So take me as you find me, all my fears and failures. Fill my life again. I give my life to follow everything I believe in, now I surrender. Savior, He can move the mountains, My God is mighty to save, He is mighty save. Forever, author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave." I realized that if I gave God everything I had, my strengths & my weaknesses, He would use it to glorify Him. That's a pretty cool promise if you ask me.

So what did I learn? I learned alot.  I learned that God can do extraordinary things throught ordinary people. I met so many people throughout the week that were doing amazing things for God. Pastor Jose in the dump ministry was making a huge impact on the lives of people that live in some of the worst situations possible. He is not only helping their physical needs, but showing them how to fulfill their spiritual needs through Jesus. Pastor Jose is not highly educated or come from a wonderful, easy lifestyle, yet he is changing these people's lives. We also heard the story of how Extreme Response (the missions agency we went with) was started. The missionaries had started a small ministry in the dumps and decided to throw a Christmas party for the people that lived there. They had planned for 300 people and 600 people ended up coming. As they served food they realized they would soon run out...but they never did and they even had ten gallons left over. If that's not a miracle I don't know what is. I found out later that both of those missionaries had graduated from a high school in my school district. They lived in the same city I do. They were probably alot like me and God used them to be a part of something like that and now they are impacting literally thousands of people worldwide through Extreme Response. I learned that God loves it when I have to fully depend on Him.  Although it was really hard being away from my friends and family, I found out what it means to depend on God. To tell Him what's on my mind and turn to Him when I'm lonely. I also saw it in the Ecuadorian people and how they relied on Him so greatly. They needed Him to provide for their church and for their own needs.  Through that, they fall deeper in love with Him. Even though that can be a very scary place to be, when we depend on God for everything we can see who He really is. I learned that God loves culture even more than I do. He made the Ecuadorian culture the way it is. He made the hearts of the people there. He crafted all of it just perfectly and it glorifies Him. We sang Open the Eyes of my Heart in Spanish and English...it was such a beautiful moment. Both of our languages praising the same Lord. I'm pretty sure I could feel God smiling during that song :)

 
My experience in Ecuador was so much different than I ever expected. It was not the easiest trip I've ever been on but my eyes were opened so much.  I know the people there impacted me so much more than I ever impacted them. I believe that God worked things out just the way He wanted them to be. Like I said before, I can't put this trip into words. My heart was changed by the people of Ecuador and through seeing God work. When you get a chance to see what God is doing around the world, it will totally change your life. I'm so thankful I got the opporunity to go to Ecuador!